I made a sandwich.

I’m an okay cook I suppose, but I officially rock at three dishes: turkey burgers, mac-n-cheese, and variations on this sandwich.

Here’s what:

Put some butter or olive oil in a pan and heat it up. I don’t care which you use. I’m barely living my life, you think I’m gonna get all weird about yours, all “No, it’s gotta be a tablespoon of butter”? No. Use what you use, as much as you use. Want a bigger ass? Use more butter. Duh.

In the hot melt, add a slice of bread. Put a slice of cheddar cheese on that. Put a stack of tortilla chips (like…five chips) on a paper towel. Fold it up and bust it a couple times with your fist. Pretend it’s my face, if that helps. Pour your tortilla chip dust onto the cheese, and spread it around some. Then put a few shots of hot sauce on top of that.

Add a couple slices of turkey or ham or whatever. I used turkey. Seriously, make a decision.

Tear three or four pepperoncinis from their stems and put them on top of the turkey. Put another piece of cheddar on top of that, and then another piece of bread, and flip it. If the bottom of your sandwich isn’t brown yet, you made it too fast. Slow down, chief.

By the time you pour a beer or whatever, the other side is done. Cut it in half and serve, with a couple more pepperoncinis on the side. If you don’t like those, I guess you could have a pickle, but if you don’t put something on the side, everybody’s gonna think you’re an asshole.

Enjoy.