Actually, can I just skip all that swimming?

I'm at work, so I'll have to be brief.

You guys, if I ever, say, train for my entire life to be the fastest swimmer alive, and I never smoke a cigarette or stay up past ten and I never get to go to the movies or miss a workout or hang out with my friends, and then I actually make it to the Olympics and win more medals than anyone ever and stand on the thing and get the roses and all the USA USA USA chants and then a few months later and it's winter and the pool's closed and it's a frickin' odd-numbered year, for crying out loud, then you should know, and forgive me, but you should know:I'm doing a fucking bong hit.

Okay, back to work.