I got my spoon back. It was on the couch.

I wish I were more even-tempered. When I was a younger person, I had a "movement" teacher who taught us that each of our fingertips represented a different element, and to "ground" ourselves, we should press our thumb, which would be the "self" finger, to the index finger, which reprented "earth". I usually just ended up making a fist.

By the way, you roll your eyes at what I studied in college, but I'm working retail now, so I guess we know who laughed last.

We watched Transporter 3 the other night. Every time Transporter gets pissed, he gets in a fight pose. And even when he's fighting, he doesn't breathe heavy or stomp around or call anybody names. He has the presence of mind to take off his shirt and choke you with it, rather than just bolting up out of his chair so fast he knocks a spoon off the desk (he had been eating some peanut butter). And then Bandit gets all weird and won't give the spoon back. Tran Sporter has me beat in that fashion.

Which is my way of saying I yelled at a telemarketer today.

And then, maybe, I called him back.

And maybe he answered the phone "Hi there, Ryan".

Maybe, maybe not. Whatever. The point is, relax. Screen your calls. It's a new day, hope and all that, so dial back a little, and quit getting pissed at some dude who's just trying to do his shitty job. Someone will probably yell at me today, and I'll be all victimized and hurt about it, but I've got it coming. Index finger is Earth, middle finger is GO FUCK YOURSELF, ring finger is Water or something, little finger is...Fire? That can't be right. Anyway.