"I'm Mad as...Something, and I'm not Gonna Something Something."

The only line of film dialogue I can recall verbatim off the top of my head is from The Royal Tenenbaums. Sure, I know stuff like "May the Force be with you", but mostly, I watch movies, and let them unfold as they will, and when they're over, I'm left with feelings and opinions, but virtually nothing that I've memorized. Even after having watched a movie over and over, I just sort of let it all happen like it's the first time, and while I often admire particular lines, I can never recall them word-for-word later.

I work with this guy who, without warning, will slip Monty Python dialogue into regular conversation. We'll be talking, and then pow, he's British. I never know what to say, because I never know which particular sketches his material is coming from, and how it applies to the conversation we had been having. It's a little embarrassing, because I think he can tell I'm not up to Python speed. So I always laugh, because it's nice, I think, and then I mentally pray that he'll be Not British again soon.

And a couple weekends ago, I was hanging out with some friends and friends of friends who had an hours long conversation that contained little else but dialogue from Anchorman. They all just took turns, going around the table, and if someone screwed up, the other guys were more incredulous than probably the actual director was when Will Farrell flubbed a line.

Why can't we talk about why we like Anchorman without having to act the whole damn thing out? Can't we at least preface the moment with "That reminds me of that funny part of Anchorman, you know, when..." But no, we all just sat there, performing in each other's faces. I think Anchorman is hilarious, but try as I might, all I can come up with is "Something...whale's vagina", and "I like when Jack Black kicks the fake dog."

I could do it as a kid. When I was a kid, with only one viewing, I could come in and do Letterman's Top Ten for my friends, and even with Sunday as a buffer, I was always able to repeat Tommy Flinagan's liar monologues on Monday morning.

But now, I'd rather just talk, I guess. One guy the other night had to repeat the same line to me three times, each time his face getting broader, his voice louder. He was seriously frustrated by the time I finally said "I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's from The Ladies' Man!" he said, in that tone you give someone who just doesn't get it. Like when I'm second in line at a green light, and the car in front of me just sits there. "GO, DAMN IT!" That tone.

How many viewings of Ladies' Man does it take to memorize the whole damn thing, anyway? All I could think of was that Tenenbaums scene I've committed to memory: "I'm going to kill myself tomorrow." Wouldn't it have rocked to have leaned in real close and said that to Tim Meadows' biggest fan? Instead, I went with the tried and true "Oh yeah! Ha! I forgot about that!" that I had trotted out all evening.

Am I supposed to take notes during movies? Do I need to buy a tiny flashlight?