At Least I Think That's What You Meant

I don't have the nerve or patience to have this conversation in person, so I'm going to take just a second to live vicariously through my blog. It will never ever be read by the person who needs it, but oh well.

Hi, I just wanted to take a sec to tell you that you've been a bit confused about a particular figure of speech, and I thought maybe I could clear things up.

It's not "raping the benefits". It's not. It's "reaping". I've heard you say that twice now, and it's upsetting. It's downright weird. How can you never have heard it correctly?

Seriously...RAPING the benefits? Stop saying that.

Anyway, glad we cleared that up.